ShaBlam!: Lakitu's Cloud

At the beginning of Super Mario 64 (N64 version) we are introduced to the Lakitu Brothers who will be recording your every… almost every move.

Now ever since 1999, when I first played the game, I always assumed that Lakitu meant that he and the cloud were the brothers of note. This always seemed odd to me because in this game the cloud didn’t have a face like it always had in previous Mario titles…. I realized the other day when I popped the game in to play the Sunday away… that there are TWO Lakitus! One in front for the intro and one in back recording Mario. Boy do I feel stupid for not realizing that for all these years.

But wait, then that means the cloud… is it really nothing more than a normal cloud? I know in the DS version they gave it its face back but I’m going to ignore that today.

So let’s assume Lakitu’s cloud is really just a normal cloud with no mind of it’s own that can somehow magically support Lakitu’s weight. How does it survive throughout the entirety of the game?! This cloud is completely anti-rules-of-weather. It refuses to dissipate in the lava levels, it refuses to dissipate in the underwater levels, it refuses to dissipate in the desert of Shifting Sand Land, it doesn’t freeze or fall in the snow levels, and it seems just fine in Hazy Maze Cave. What is with this cloud? Is it denser than normal clouds or something since it has the ability to hold a creature’s weight? Does it have a solid ‘lighter than air’ core that can reproduce fragments of the cloud that it loses? Does that core have the ability to produce a waterproof lining? How does Lakitu steer this cloud?

And for that matter, what’s with Lakitu himself? Does he not breathe at all? He doesn’t die under water, he doesn’t die in the Hazy Maze (though maybe he doesn't actually have a nose), and he seems to be just fine in the sky miles above the castle. Does he have lungs? Do his ear drums pop up there? Will his grip ever slip and drop the camera?

Either way, when you think about it, Lakitu's cloud defies everything that is rational. It must be evil and made of black magic! I think Lakitu knows it too! That evil unnatural cloud. Just look at it constantly caressing his bottom and bobbing around like it owns the place. You can see just how uncomfortable and worried Lakitu looks.